3/1

New month! New dentist. At least this one didn't recommend implants. Only 2 root canals. One question I have is whether we have to just be ourselves even if it means alienating other people, or whether it is good and necessary to adapt, accommodate to others. I try to be flexible for people with less than me and also to people with more and with my mates, chums. Everyone. I try but am not always successful. I can be obnoxious.

2/11

Sleeping in on a holiday from work, I dreamt I took up running. A wish to fulfill? And I also dreamt about shopping for pastries. More likely behavior?

As of last week, the tree is fully gone. I'd hoped that they were going to leave the awkward trunk with the magical burl eyes. But no. It's a ground down stump. I would like to move now even though this neighborhood is so fun.

I just found some new commandments to try to follow. Some seem very challenging.

This new parallel calendar is kind of like the way there are overlapping Jewish Calendar days so that someone's Yarhzeit isn't on the same date each year.

2/9

2/9 has aways been a special day for me. Celia's birthday. When I judge myself through her eyes I feel loved yet foolish. Able yet unfulfilled. I'm now her age when I knew her. The things that had meaning for her remote and out of reach for me.

2/7

Celebrating Galentines Day today. I'm lucky to have so many wonderful women who love me. My niece's test came back with good news of no cancer.

I am watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend to embrace the reaction my awkward profession of love received this year. But I'm still hoping for a happy ending for Rebecca/Rachel and me.

2/2

Shabbat shalom. Snow is keeping some people at rest today.

This is my Grammie's birthday in the old calendar. Celia Spitzer Mindt. I got my balding salt and pepper hair from her. My new rabbi taught me something very important--I have everything I need. It's sad that I have such a hard time using all that I have productively.

2/1

Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Will I be lucky? Maybe I already am. I guess if I wasn't things would be much worse. Certain things have not been progressing in the way I would like, but I could be wrong. I got tickets to see Neil Young but not Hannah Gadsby.

1/19

I'm not sure how I got to the end of the first month of my new calendar so soon. This week at work went fast. I've got a little carpal tunnel pain from taking notes at depositions. I'm hoping to find my courage and direct it toward the proper scary things.

The bit of advice I didn't give today by text is don't take on a lover who is unsuitable for a long term relationship unless they are really good at sex.

We celebrated the new year of the Pig this week. I guiltily confess that I ate pork to celebrate. But other than that and an errant piece of chicken at a potluck, I went without meat for 2019 so far. I ate a lot of beans at first but I haven't adapted to replacing meat with legumes. I'm still eating fish, seafood, cheese and eggs. I'm watching the Great British Baking Show, thinking about pastries and cake but not eating any so far. Maybe this weekend when it snows I should try a black forest cake. Chocolate, cherries, whipped cream
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Black_Forest_gateau.jpg#/media/File:Black_Forest_gateau.jpg